


Even If It's Not Your Fault, It's Your Responsibility

by SparkleTindi



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: (tindi getting carried away in the tags again), 2018-19 season, Gen, Hockey Injuries, Platonic Love, Rated for hockey-typical F-bombs, banter--so much banter, in retrospect the goalie bits were inevitable, leadership angst, team means TOGETHER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:24:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22749517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkleTindi/pseuds/SparkleTindi
Summary: LITERALLY every time Gabe gets hurt, he says he's gotta get back before the team doesn't need him. What he doesn't realize is that the team always needs him, on and off the ice.Takes place in March of 2019, right after Ben Bishop squished Gabe in Dallas.
Relationships: Gabriel Landeskog & All the Avalanche
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39
Collections: 2 Hots: #boysarehot Avs Valentines 2020 fic challenge





	Even If It's Not Your Fault, It's Your Responsibility

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Bluejay141519](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay141519/pseuds/Bluejay141519) in the [2hots](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2hots) collection. 

> **Prompt:**
> 
> Some gabe angst! In his interviews when he comes back he always says "the boys dont need me". Maybe seeing how the team convinces him otherwise (platonically! pls!!) lots of team feels! (tbear still an av!)
> 
> I did platonic and feels! I only tagged people who had significant lines or were otherwise more involved. People who ended up having a bigger part than previously expected: Grubi (tbh I don't know why I didn't expect that one), Barbs, and Zoey Pickles. 
> 
> Title is a Terry Pratchett quote from A Hat Full of Sky.
> 
> Thank you to Talahu'i, Eafay70, and J from the challenge server for betaing and also reassuring me that my writing is not terrible ^^;;

Gabe looked at the pictures and winced. "You can't even  _ see  _ me," he said to Tyson, who nodded, face grim. "Fucking  _ goalies _ , man. No offense meant," he added to Grubi, who'd come down to get breakfast.

The German chuckled. "I know what you meant. How are you feeling?"

"Sore and pissy," Gabe said grumpily, drinking more coffee. "The homestretch is no time to get injured."

Nate poked in with a, "You could drink more water and less coffee."

"You could fuck off about my coffee," Gabe said back, without heat. It was a longstanding argument; the captain had gone from "I only drink a cup or two sometimes" to "if you touch my caffeine I will cut you" in a few years. As he'd pointed out to Nate, it was better for him than the Monsters the kids drank instead. "This is only my second cup anyway, and hotel coffee isn't as strong."

The center gave him a level look and pointedly got himself both water and orange juice before sitting down with the two of them. "Sorry we couldn't pull it out for you," Nate said, referring to the end of the game.

Gabe shrugged. "It's fine. I mean. Well, we'll see how fine it is when we get back, I guess. It's fine enough that they didn't send me back early, at least." He had been dreading separating from the team early, but since they were going back to Denver anyway, it wasn't a thing. 

"And we've got a long homestand," Tyson added, butting up against Gabe gently. "So you won't be on your own for awhile, anyway." It was pretty well understood by the whole team that their captain didn't like being apart from them; Gabe would have been embarrassed by this, but it meant that the guys always made sure it didn't happen. Besides, the Avs were an affectionate bunch as a whole.

"No chance I get back in time to face Dallas again, though," Gabe said gloomily. 

"We'll get 'em for you," Nate replied. 

"And we'll snow Bishop every time we get near the crease," Tyson added, making Grubi, sitting down the table a bit, roll his eyes. 

"To do that you actually have to  _ get  _ near the crease," Gabe said dryly. "Try to do a bit more of that while I'm out, please."

"Aye aye, captain," Tyson said, actually saluting, which made Nate laugh. They talked about baseball for the rest of breakfast, at Gabe's insistence. He didn't want to sulk until he knew how bad it was.

It was... not great. "2-4 weeks," the doctor said firmly. "I know it's the playoff run, but if you want to actually be useful  _ during _ playoffs, you'll give it time. It's not a bad separation, and it's your shoulder, so you can skate right off. Just  _ no shooting _ until I see you again."

"Yes, sir," Gabe said gloomily. He was in a dark mood as Tyson drove him home. "I don't need a babysitter," he grumped at the defenseman when Tys walked with him into the house instead of just dropping him off.

"And how were you going to get your door and everything with one arm, genius?" Tyson snarked back, gently. "Come on. You're grouchy because you’re hurt. Let's get you some food and then you can take something."

Tyson made dinner, talking to Gabe about TV as he did. The Swede found himself being cheered up almost against his will; it was a gift Tys had. Also, he watched the dumbest TV and was so cheerfully self-deprecating about it that Gabe had nothing to be nasty to him about. "Did you get Nate to watch whatever that dumbass show was finally?" Gabe asked, and Tyson grinned, pulling the chicken off the heat.

"Yep. As I predicted, he's now obsessed. It's great. Well, apart from Mikko complaining that I'm taking him away from their Fortnite team." Tyson rolled his eyes at this. "All to the good, if you ask me. That game is trouble."

"You're just saying that because you're bad at it," Gabe teased, and Tyson threw a bread roll at him. "Hey, I am too," Gabe laughed.

They ate in mostly companionable silence, used to each other's habits after so long, and without Nate, who was honestly 80% of the conversation whenever the three of them hung out. "So have you set up a chart for who has to spend time making sure I'm a good little boy?" Gabe said, as he grumpily watched Tyson do the dishes.

"You'll be able to do your own dishes soon enough," Tys replied to the unspoken bit first. "And no, not yet. Well, not that I know of. I'd bet EJ has something set up already. You know EJ." He handed Gabe a dry plate. "Here, you can put them away if it'll make you stop pouting."

Gabe grumbled but it did make him feel better. "I can spend  _ some _ time on my own, you know. I won't fucking wilt."

"That has yet to be proven," Tyson retorted, putting the last couple of dishes in the drainer. "Come on. You can pick what we watch." He tugged gently on Gabe's good arm, dragging him to the living room. He got the captain settled in on the couch and brought him his painkillers. 

They watched together for a couple of hours, Tyson close but still giving Gabe space, before the defenseman stood up. "I've gotta get home. You can just sleep out here; I'll let Zoey out and she can wake you up in the morning."

"Hey, thanks," Gabe said, drowsy enough to wear the edges off his bad mood. "I mean it, Tys. I'm a bear when I'm hurt."

"You are, but so am I, and you're nowhere near as bad as Nate," Tyson said, smiling. "Get some sleep, bud."

As Tyson had predicted, EJ had the rotation already set up by the time Gabe was up and around the next day. "It's a minor separation; I can take the sling off at home tomorrow," the captain said in the group chat when he saw that everyone had put up their schedules and worked them out overnight. "I promise I'll behave; you don't have to rearrange your lives."

"Who says we don't have 'fuss over the captain' time planned anyway?" Nate chirped, and this got a lot of thumbs-up emojis in agreement. Gabe huffed, but he was grinning at his phone as he let Zoey out and watched her zoom around the yard. 

As he was feeding her there was a knock on the door followed by a "I hope you've stopped wandering around shirtless for no good reason." EJ himself had arrived.

"I don't need a reason to wander around shirtless," Gabe retorted; he had not, in fact, bothered to put a shirt on yet. "It's my damn house."

"Look, we don't need to be blinded by either your dazzling Norse beauty or your lack of a tan every time we come visit," EJ said. He was holding a bag, and Gabe smelled his favorite takeout. He'd have complained about being coddled, but the truth was he and EJ traded off lunches most days anyway. The only difference was the delivery.

"Look who's talking, Minnesota boy," Gabe said, grabbing the forks that were still in the drainer. "I'm pretty sure I got afterimages the last time you took your shirt off in the sunshine." After dropping the forks on the counter, he detoured back to his room to grab a shirt anyway; EJ would  _ not _ shut up about it if he didn't.

Lunch was pretty normal, apart from the odd twinge making Gabe mutter to himself. Zoey was very good about not begging for scraps, but the minute they were done she brought her tug toy over to EJ and gave him an expectant look. "Well, I guess your dad can't do this himself, can he?" EJ said with a laugh, picking up his end. "Not with a big, strong girl like you," the defenseman added, his voice sliding into puppy talk.

Gabe flopped onto his sofa and watched them tussle. It was a regular game with them; despite EJ's teasing, there was a reason Zoey had brought him the toy and it had nothing to do with Gabe's shoulder. The sheer normalcy helped as much as watching the two of them play, which was probably why EJ had brought lunch over in the first place. "Am I that transparent?" he asked out loud, getting a quizzical look from EJ as he was yanked forward by an enthusiastic pitbull. 

Before Gabe could reframe the question, EJ laughed, a bit breathless. "We've been playing together for a decade, Landy. You're my best friend; you'd do the same thing for me, and have before."

"Yeah," Gabe said, brooding a bit. "You're not as bad as I am though."

"I mean I've had to get used to it," EJ said, letting Zoey win and shaking out his arms. "I was pretty bad when I had the broken leg; didn't you threaten to change my Twitter password?"

"Yeah but that whole season was a clusterfuck," Gabe said, relaxing anyway. "I was hurt too, remember?"

"Yeah and you hurt yourself trying to come back too soon, which is why you have us up your ass this time," EJ retorted, flopping down next to Gabe.

Zoey parked her head in Gabe's lap and he rubbed her ears with both hands, smiling at the happy dog noises. "Like you guys wouldn't mother hen me anyway; Kammy said apart from the cooking and the English, it was almost like having his mom home when you were looking after him. If you spoke Russian he might have come back sooner."

EJ thwacked him with a couch pillow. "He did  _ not _ ."

"He absolutely did. He said the only ones who reminded him more of his mom were Z and his wife, and they  _ are _ Russian," Gabe said, grinning. "He says Aleks is a better cook, though."

"I mean he would," EJ mock-grumbled, but he was also grinning now. "Go put some clothes on; we've got a team meeting in like an hour."

Gabe was pretty sure Bednar knew about the looking-after-Gabe rota, but like most player things, he didn't comment on it. He did specifically mention they were going to miss their captain's netfront presence while he was out, giving a significant look to Mikko, but that was just coaching. The rest of the session was the usual pregame, and Gabe did a better job not showing how much he wanted to play in front of all the guys. He left early to hang out with the other injuries and Gravy, who was the odd d-man out tonight. 

"Okay, let it out," Barbs said. "Yell if you need to. It  _ sucks  _ being out."

"I mean I'm not concussed," Gabe said awkwardly, and Barbs shrugged. The captain turned to Kammy, who was smiling.

"Yeah, I know. But he's right. It sucks," the kid said to Gabe's unspoken query. "Not out as long but still."

"I'll probably beat you back," Nietsy said before he could be asked, and Gabe finally laughed. "Come on, cap. It sucks. You're having a hell of a season, and we're in the stretch run."

"I don't think I need to yell?" Gabe said. "It does suck, though, and EJ has become the world's biggest nursemaid."

"He does that," Barbs said, and Kammy nodded. "Come on. Let's at least work up a bit of a sweat on weights so we don't feel totally useless."

The whole team was sharp against Buffalo, leaving Grubi with easy work and bombarding Carter Hutton, whom they'd seen quite a bit with St. Louis the year before and had trouble solving. Hutton was decent, but Nate and Mikko were better, with Bourque adding the empty-net dagger and getting tackled like he'd just won the game since it was his first of the season. Gabe noted that it was game 69 and started the string of "Nice goal" in the team group chat, solely because he knew it would make EJ throw a tape ball at him later.

EJ  _ and _ Nate threw tape balls at him, though they waited until the cameras were off. Victory.

The next week sucked, not helped by losing the game on Monday. At least the team was there, fussing over Gabe any time he turned around, it felt like. He was almost relieved by the bomb cyclone, whatever the hell  _ that  _ was, that kept everyone home on Wednesday... well, everyone but Nate, who went to practice. Gabe enjoyed the Avs GIF party on Twitter, made hot cocoa, and watched the snow fly. Zoey zoomed around in the wet stuff when she went out, her natural cheer never dimmed by any weather. Gabe had to towel her off so she didn't get cold, which he did carefully. Then they both flopped in the warm living room and Gabe found a new documentary on Netflix about food. Halfway through he had to pause it to make lunch; it was that good.

The next game was Friday, against the Ducks. No one in the Western Conference liked the Ducks; it was very possible even John Gibson didn't like them much, and he was their goalie. It started out all right, rough like Ducks games always were, but went downhill quickly in the second, with three unanswered Ducks goals. The refs were  _ terrible _ , and Gabe let them know about it until he got an elbow reminding him to keep it down. The chant of "REF YOU SUCK" echoing off the Pepsi Center rafters told him he wasn't the only one who thought so. 

It ended up being a heartbreaker, Mikko taking an irrefutable but stupid high-stick penalty after Sven tied it up, with the empty-netter to make them all feel worse. The backslaps and fistbumps in the locker room were muted, except Mikko's, which was just the not-painful side of savage. Gabe didn't blame him. The standings loomed behind everyone's eyes, slipping further down until they fell out of the playoffs and the kids who'd joined during the hell season would find out that there were worse things. Well, Gabe's shoulder was busted but the rest of him worked just fine.

"Hey," he said. "Heads up. All of you. Lift your fucking heads up. This is not gonna be a thing. Gibson was Gibson and the refs sucked. We can tell everyone else that refs don't win or lose games, but facts are facts: if a call or two hadn't gone their way, we'd have the opposite score, at least." That got nods from everyone, reluctant ones from a few guys, but everyone  _ did _ nod. 

"Before he gets into the 'I wish I was there to help' part and gives us the sad blue puppy eyes, I'll interrupt and say it was a shitty second but the rest of the game was all right," Tyson spoke up. Gabe gave him a look; Tys was in his underarmor and tousled but he looked less grumpy than everyone else. "It's the fucking  _ Ducks _ , guys. These games always fucking suck, and we laid three on Gibson, which is enough to win a lot of the time."

"And no one new is hurt," EJ pointed out, earning a "Thank fuck" from more than one of the others. "Move on to the next. The Devils suck this year, so we've got a good chance to bounce back before we head out."

"Hey, that's my line," Gabe said, but he was smiling. "It's like you guys have heard me so much I don't actually need to be here."

"Oh fuck  _ off _ ," Nate said, sounding testier than usual. "We definitely could have used you; you're awesome against the Ducks."

"Do you keep everyone's splits in your head or did you look them up because you knew he was gonna go all broody?" Tyson asked, sounding genuinely curious. "I mean, if I'd thought about doing that, it's a great idea."

"Oh I bet he keeps them in his head," Willy said. "Using that huge hockey brain that TSN is always talking about." This got more chirps and Nate finally relaxed a bit. "Come on, Gabe. Tys gave me a ride in today because of the muck and you can drop me off."

"Thank you for making me feel useful," Gabe said dryly as they walked out to his car.

"Well it's not like you can't drive," Willy said easily. "I know you're getting tired of everyone hovering over you anyway."

"You're not kidding," Gabe said. "I'd lock EJ out but he's got my spare key." Willy was super relaxing to be around and the drive to his place felt almost normal again.

They got the bounceback they needed against the Devils, and Gabe should have been happier about it; the guys certainly were. They mobbed Grubi when he came in from his first star interview, making the goalie laugh. Gabe and the other injured guys kept to the periphery, partly because they were, you know, injured, and Gabe felt it. He slipped out while they were still getting changed, making some excuse or other. He drove home by himself; he tried to tell himself it was just tiredness and he  _ did _ tell EJ that when the defenseman texted him, probably the minute he'd noticed Gabe was gone. "Tired and my shoulder hurts. It's fine," he sent, then tossed his phone on the coffee table and dug some ice cream out of his freezer. He ignored his phone until he fell asleep on the couch, Zoey on his legs.

Gabe tried not to be irritable the next day and completely failed, judging by the combination of sympathetic looks and keeping their distance everyone did. "You hate playing Minnesota anyway," Tyson pointed out.

"Everyone hates playing Minnesota," Gabe grumbled. "We could all hate it together."

"Stay here and keep the other guys company," Nate said. "It's only four days."

"And we'll bury Bish under snow showers," Tys added.

"I'd really rather you just win the hockey game and don't start a fight with a goalie almost a foot taller than you are," Gabe said, and Nate snorted.

"Don't worry about it. I'm a lover, not a fighter. You know that," Tyson said breezily. Nate snorted again, but he was grinning. "Don't hurt yourself worse while we're gone," Tys added, and Gabe gave him the finger.

That disconnected feeling got worse as he watched the games from home. The small injury squad hit the ice with the coaches who were at home every day, but it wasn't hockey. The guys on the road were doing great, though a good part of that was Grubi, who made 80 saves during the short trip. "Buy the goalie something nice for dinner," Gabe instructed Nate after the Stars game. He sent it to Nate instead of EJ because Nate seemed to have stepped up into a lot of what Gabe did on the road, judging by how everyone huddled near him on the bench. Besides, EJ would have just chirped him to do it himself, which wasn't the  _ point _ . Grubi hadn't made 44 saves for  _ Gabe _ , had he?

The downside to the road trip was that Mikko had gotten injured,  _ also  _ against the fucking Stars, so they had one more guy added to the walking wounded. Well, it was a downside for the team, but Gabe was happy to have his Finnish little brother around. He fussed over Mikko the same way the team had fussed over him, until the Finn chased him out with a promise that he wasn't going to do anything more strenuous than play video games. Gabe still texted him to remind him to eat and take his meds, getting a string of middle finger emojis at one point that made him laugh.

Home-and-homes were the  _ worst _ . Gabe already thought so when he was active, and this was even worse because Bednar didn't want to knock everyone out of their groove. So while Gabe participated in some of the drills, he and the others were mostly on the other ice while the healthy guys got in some intensive work for the busy weekend. They won the home game, and Gabe felt that sense of disconnect from the happy locker room again. This time, he stayed until everyone else was ready to leave, though listening to them talk about the action and cackling at the loud Chicago fans who'd gone very quiet after Willy had scored only made it worse.

He figured he'd done an okay job until Tys sidled up alongside as they went out to the parking lot. "So, what's up?"

"Just antsy," Gabe said, trying a smile. From the eyeroll, he hadn't fooled Tyson. "Did you flip a coin with EJ to nursemaid me?"

"Oh, don't go on the offensive just because we're concerned about you," Tyson said, butting his shoulder into Gabe with some force. He was on Gabe's good side, but it was still a sign that Tys didn't think he was still too injured. "And no. I don't know if EJ noticed because he was busy showering Grubi with affection."

"Good. That's what you guys need to get a rotation for, not me," Gabe said. "I have Mikko to bother, I'm fine."

"I told Colin he shouldn't joke like that where you can hear it," Tyson said in an uncharacteristic non-sequitur.

"I'm  _ fine _ , Tyson. I'm not that fucking delicate and he was talking about Nate and Mikko, too."

"Yeah but you say it so much yourself it doesn't need reinforcement," Tys retorted. "Look, you'll be back soon. You know how Beds gets when we're on a roll; even if you'd been cleared he probably wouldn't put you in because he doesn't wanna fuck with anything." He patted Gabe on the shoulder, much more gently, before they split to their own cars.

Sunday was... rough. Gabe hadn't really seen much of the guys during their short jaunt home because of the stupid schedule, he was feeling almost 100% (or as close as he was gonna  _ get  _ and  _ ready _ was the important part, especially with Mikko also out) and he had hit his upper limit on platitudes. Gabe had been out for almost three weeks and he was  _ bored _ and he was  _ antsy _ and Nate threatened to block him by noon if he didn't stop texting.

EJ texted that Willy had been fined for "exacerbating the captain's bullshit self-esteem issues" when Gabe transferred his whining. This made Gabe feel bad, so he texted an apology to Willy, who texted back that he deserved it. EJ  _ then  _ put in the group chat that Gabe and Willy were both gonna have their phones taken away if they didn't stop the "guilt circle-jerk," as he put it. "Go give some soundbites somewhere," EJ texted Gabe directly. "Go play goalie for the other guys, walk Zoey, do  _ something _ , please."

Gabe contemplated asking if sneaking to Chicago was doing something, then realized EJ would tattle on him to Bednar if he even tried it, and went back to sulking. The guys in Chicago were trying to get the guys in Denver to go over and annoy Gabe and they were all refusing, to their credit. "Let him be grouchy," Barbs said. "I'm grouchy, too. It's the last two weeks of the season and we're not there."

"Busy," Mikko retorted when Nate @'d him. 

"Raising your ranking over ours artificially because we can't play this weekend doesn't count as busy," Josty put in.

"I'm FINE," Gabe said. "I'm just pissy, I'm allowed to be pissy I haven't texted anyone about it in at least an hour fuck off." This got suggestions for a nap since he was clearly tired, which Gabe got extremely irritated at. This probably meant they were  _ right  _ but fuck 'em. He laid down on the couch and surfed Netflix in a state of high dudgeon at the universe.

Roughly two hours later, Gabe was woken up by a cold, wet dog nose. Zoey needed to go out and it was... Gabe looked at his phone and made a face at the time. Well, at least someone hadn't come to check on him and gotten smug about it. Probably. As Zoey took care of her business and ran around in the crisp air, he checked the chat. The game was in a couple of hours and the guys were either napping themselves or doing whatever they needed to do before the game. Gabe put his phone down so he wouldn't keep watching for chatter, anything to feel less adrift, and watched his dog.

His phone buzzed as he brought her back inside and gave her dinner. It was Barbs calling. "Hey, Mikko has the best home theatre and the guys want us to stage a Fortnite intervention; let's go watch the game at his place," the defenseman said.

" _ Mikko  _ intervention, huh?" Gabe said wryly, and Barbs laughed.

"Nah, totally a Mikko intervention," he assured the captain. "I was being serious when I told EJ to fuck off about bothering  _ you _ , but Josty said he'd pay me to get Mikko off Fortnite."

Gabe wouldn't put it past the guys to be devious enough to use Mikko as an excuse, but at the same time he  _ did  _ have those bomb theater-style chairs and Gabe was honestly tired of being grumpy by himself. At least Barbs and Nietsy didn't judge him for being antsy. "All right, I'll grab food. I'm gonna get junk just because we deserve it and Nate isn't here to nag us."

"Ooh, how about pizza?" Barbs suggested, and gave Gabe his topping preferences.

Pizza and hockey at Mikko's was good, though Mikko grumbled for the entire pregame about Josty and Fortnite. The game was the usual mix of scrappy and speed, but it was a good back-and-forth. Grubi was outstanding  _ again _ , even though the guys weren't protecting him for shit tonight. Barbs, as the lone defenseman in their group, did a fair amount of very technical yelling about that.

Kerf  _ had _ been listening to Gabe's yelling about getting in position on the power play, and tipped one of Tyson's patented point shots home towards the end of the second. Right at the end of the period, Brass took a boarding penalty that made all the guys at home yell. It was one of those scrambly plays by the bench, too fast to really do anything about, and frankly Brass was just as likely to have been hurt as DeBrincat.

Going into the intermission knowing you had a whole penalty to kill was a huge momentum loss, and Gabe could see it in the body language. "Dammit," he muttered. They had a very strict no-phone rule during games, so he would have to trust that EJ and Nate and Tys could drag them out of their own heads. He fidgeted during the intermission show; the game was a national one, so he didn't even have whatever silliness Keefer and Ryker were up to this time to distract him.

The other guys let him brood, which he appreciated. He'd be doing this on the bench, too, so it wasn't like he was being unhealthy. Well, apart from the third piece of pizza he'd just had and the donuts Barbs had brought. He could hear Nate in his head telling him how much unhealthy shit was in the pizza. "Does anyone else hear Nate in their heads when they eat shitty food?" he said out loud.

Mikko laughed. "Yes. Doesn't stop me." Barbs nodded in agreement, and Nietsy laughed as well. Kammy shrugged.

"Everyone nag me," the Russian said. "Eat this, eat that."

Gabe snorted. "Not here. You have entered a judgement free zone." When Mikko gave him a side-eye, Gabe said, "I just told you to eat  _ food _ , Mikko. Pizza counts as food. Candy does not."

The tying goal didn't come as much of a surprise, what with the penalty and the shot difference, but the guys did a good job locking it down and getting it to OT. Grubi was  _ exhausted _ . You could see it by how he hung in his net, and Gabe willed the guys to win it quickly. 

It didn’t work, and Keith basically flattened Grubi while shoving the puck under his pads. Everyone was  _ furious,  _ both in Denver and on the Avalanche bench in Chicago, but it stood. Grubi skated off the ice without going back for the stick Keith had kicked out of his hands, Nate following and apologizing, from what Gabe could tell from the flashes NBC showed between cellying Chicago players. He went for his phone and tried to figure out what to say via text that wouldn't sound hollow to a wiped-out goalie who was blaming himself. 

He looked up and saw Grub had been named second star, which,  _ damn right _ , but also meant basically nothing, so Gabe went back to staring at his phone. Finally, he sighed and texted, "Not your fault. You know that. Get some sleep."

"Do not start another guilt circle-jerk, EJ says," Grubi texted back, and Gabe actually smiled. 

"Tell him to tell Nate that," the captain texted back, and finished his drink. "Well  _ that _ sucked," he said aloud.

"Yep," Mikko agreed, looking broody. Gabe suspected it wasn't about Fortnite this time, or probably any time.

Barbs was picking up boxes and he and Nietsy did the few remaining dishes, while Gabe helped pick up the recycling. "It was a back-to-back in Chicago, Mikko. We--they got a point out of it."

"They were on no rest too," Mikko grumbled. "Nate needs us back."

Gabe shrugged. "Sure, but he's got Tys, and Kerf looked good tonight, and we're in a playoff spot still." He dumped the bottles and cans into the bin. "Game's over, move onto the next."

"And apologize to Grubi," Barbs said. "Forty saves on the backend of a back-to-back. Woof."

"Yeah, I may get him one of those gift baskets of German goodies," Gabe said. "I know it's not my fault either but I'm the captain."

"I'm in," Barbs said, and the others agreed. 

Grubi sent a simple thank you text when he got home and saw his basket, but all the guys were so tired that Gabe was touched the goalie had said anything. Gabe was at practice the next day in the dreaded tomato non-contact jersey, and he had more energy than most of the guys. With how some of them were moving and how late in the season, he jokingly said to Coach Pratt that they should all be in tomato jerseys, just to be safe. Z, hearing this, "accidentally" bonked into him, very gently.

Gabe was back in a regular jersey by Wednesday, but Bednar wanted to be absolutely sure, so he hung out in the pressbox while Nietsy made his return against the Knights. Bourque got a goal against Subban that ended up being the game winner, and everyone including Grubi just kept on rolling like the OT loss to Chicago hadn't happened. Gabe, watching his team click, suddenly thought,  _ This is Nate's team _ , and he had to take a bit before going down to congratulate everyone. Tyson was so jubilant that he couldn't let him see it. "Three fucking points, Four!" he said, and Tys grinned at him. 

Everyone was so high on the win and the fact that they were inexplicably  _ still _ in the playoff hunt after how grim the January slide had been, so they didn't notice Gabe being glum again. He'd gotten better at covering it anyway, with two weeks of constant practice. Besides, it had been a good game, Grubi had bailed them out yet again, and it wasn't hard to give the goalie heartfelt appreciation. 

Buoyed by the win, the goalie was a bit more effusive about how the gift basket had brightened up his day when he'd come home and seen it on his counter. Gabe made sure the other guys got credit for helping out, but Grubi knew that Gabe was the one who knew where the specialty store was. As Gabe relaxed a bit, the goalie smiled. "The others are busy," he said softly. "You can stop trying so hard to be happy."

"It's not hard when I'm talking to Tys," Gabe protested, but the goalie kept watching him. Gabe sagged. "Thanks, Grubi. Not for just this, but also you've been a fucking rock star the whole time I've been out."

Grubi smiled again. "Most of the time they make it easy on me, so I'm fresh for when I need to be. That's team, right?" He nudged the captain gently. “We look after each other. You, too.”

"Yeah," Gabe said, watching Nate do his postgame interview. The captain slid out after giving Grubi a quick hug and waving to the guys.

The doctor had cleared him for gameplay and Bednar had told him unless things got weird he'd be back in against the Yotes on Friday. He should be overjoyed, annoying his teammates with how happy he was, but that disconnected feeling that had started during the short road trip last week wouldn't go away. He went straight to bed when he got home and took care of the dog, not wanting to watch or do much of anything. 

Bednar announced Gabe's return to game action at the next practice, and the captain felt much better while he was actually on the ice with the guys. He was able to forget that weird separation of feelings as he did  _ all  _ the drills with everyone. He still felt a bit weird after, though the only change from his routine was checking up with the trainers to make sure no weird stiffness had occurred. He wasn't even the only one, since it was the end of March. Everyone had their tender spots and worse, and the trainers just sighed and worked around them this time of year. 

EJ dragged Gabe out to lunch, since it was an off day. "What's up, buttercup?" the defenseman asked as they sat down with their nice, healthy salads. "Last time you came back from an injury you couldn't stop talking for three days. Did you accidentally buy decaf again?"

Gabe sighed. "Mix up the labels at the grocery store  _ once _ and the man never lets you forget it," he said. "No, I'm just. I dunno."

"That is  _ so  _ helpful, thank you," EJ said, spearing his food with a fork and Gabe with a look. "What happened to Captain Sunshine? You're back, we're in a Wild Card spot, our goalie trouble seems to have sorted itself out, and the weather's actually really nice."

"Yeah, and I'm gonna fuck up the line chemistry," Gabe said, before he could stop himself.

EJ blinked at him. "Really? Because you were having a career year before you got hurt and the 'line chemistry' has frankly been Tyson and Nate doing their freaky best friend telepathy thing and Grubi bailing us out. Pretty sure you can't fuck that up."

Gabe sighed heavily. "I told you I don't know what's wrong. I'm just in a funk."

"Okay well, be funky then," EJ said, then smirked as Gabe stared at him. "You keep calling me a nursemaid. I'm trying to do better."

"Sure you are," Gabe said, eyes narrowing. EJ was up to something; EJ was  _ usually _ up to something, "up to something" being his default state of existence, but he was up to something involving Gabe. "You know the shaving cream pies are a birthday thing."

"We're not gonna pie you," EJ snorted. "Now you're getting paranoid, too."

"Around you, it's not paranoia, it's natural caution," Gabe retorted but let it go. He wouldn't be able to get anything out of EJ anyway. He could probably lean on G to figure out what was up, if G even knew, but honestly it didn't seem worth the effort when the game was tomorrow.

Group chat was overflowing with "GABE. YES. WELCOME BACK CAPTAIN." and he stared at it. 

"You guys have been fine without me," he sent, and immediately got 10 eyeroll emojis as reactions. 

Twitter was the same, and Gabe blinked as the social media manager told him how many messages were pouring in on Friday. He knew the fans had run with the "ForLandy" hashtag, but he figured it was Avs Twitter doing their thing. But no, they said other people had contacted Avs social first, asking if there was a hashtag yet and if they could send messages to welcome him back.

"It's like they love you or something," Tyson said dryly, and Gabe sighed. 

"Look, what am I supposed to say?" he grumbled as they headed to the locker room. "Oh my god you guys can't do anything without me? You lost like two games while I was out."

"Three," Tys corrected, grinning. "Grubi was very determined not to let the Stars beat us again, though."

"No shit," Gabe said with a laugh. 

The guys whooped as he came in to change into his gear and he was right behind Grubi for warmups, like he'd never been gone. There was a roar above him, and he realized the usual throng of fans along the tunnel had spotted him. People shouted, "welcome back!" and he started grinning. 

Warmups were surreal in the best way, doing his puck flips, tossing a few to fans, feeling the ice under his feet. "There we go!" EJ shouted as he zoomed by. "There's Captain Sunshine!"

"If he starts calling me that regularly I'm gonna drown him in the shower," Gabe said to Nate, who laughed.

The first was a bit rough-and-tumble, but that was the best way to feel connected to hockey again, even though Gabe took what he thought was a soft penalty on Hinostroza. As they trooped back for intermission, the guys all looked at Gabe when Bednar had finished scolding them all for the penalties and finished his plan for the second. "What? Go play hockey; you can do it without me telling you how," he said.

"Such inspiration," EJ said. "We've really missed your way with words, Cap."

"Oh," Gabe said. "Well, it is good to be back, and let's score some fucking goals. And uh, stay out of the box, even though that last call on Colesy was frankly bullshit."

"THANK YOU," said Ian Cole.

The second started out uneventful, but then Galchenyuk got an elbow up on Willy and Gabe felt it as he stepped onto the ice with the first power play unit. Kerf quick-passed to him and as Kuemper swung around, Gabe eased it to Nate, who tapped it in. The bodies crashing into him made Gabe laugh, but they were all laughing, Nate included. "We didn't fucking miss you, huh?" Nate said.

It ended up going to a shootout because they completely fell apart in the third and the goalies got both teams through OT. The first thing Gabe did as the horn sounded was skate over to apologize to Grubi, who shrugged. "Just gotta stop more than the other guy," he said, and Gabe gave him stick taps on his pads.

Nate scored, which was all Grubi ended up needing to carry them through shootouts, stonewalling all three shooters and grinning broadly as the whole team came toward him for a hug pile. Since a lot of the guys didn't watch out of superstition, Gabe was one of the first there. He wrapped the jubilant goalie up and then was swallowed by the rest of the team joining the hug, the roar of Pepsi Center's fans and the yells of the happy players blending together. Finally,  _ finally _ , Gabe felt the team around him as an extension of himself. 

As they trooped in, he dutifully did his half of his handshake with Mikko with the empty air, raised his stick to the still-yelling fans, and trotted back to the locker room. Once there, he got first one, then a bunch of water bottles poured on his head. "Hey," he sputtered. "I didn't even score."

"Yeah, but we were like 'how would Gabe welcome himself back if he wasn't being a dingus and thinking he wasn't needed?'" EJ said, shaking the last droplets out on Gabe, who shook himself off all over the others like a dog. 

"He's got you there," Grubi said, coming in from his first star interview and therefore missing all the splashing. 

It was Nate who said, "You're our  _ captain _ , asshole. We  _ always  _ need you." 

Willy opened his mouth. EJ gave him a look. "I wasn't gonna say it," Willy retorted. "Just, welcome back. We missed you."

Gabe rolled his eyes at the defenseman. "Nursemaid," he said, and EJ threw a tape ball at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Because one of my betas asked, I thought I'd mention that Nate DID in fact show up to the world's most optional Avs practice, during a bomb cyclone: https://twitter.com/ryan_s_clark/status/1105874706031304704
> 
> It was him, both goalies, and Ryan from The Athletic. I'm not even sure they had coaches. That's Nate for you.
> 
> Also, my longstanding theory about the Colorado Avalanche is that they work because they all love Gabe and Gabe loves all of them. I may expand more on this someday. Thank you for reading!


End file.
